Day 24: MC Faced with a Moral Dilemma #MarchWorldbuilders

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It’s all your fault.

These words were seared into Yu’s heart and mind. They haunted him every time he closed his eyes. Every time he looked upon his lordship and his family. Every time he looked at his mother and father. He could feel it, their hatred of him, deep inside his soul. They never said it, never portrayed it, but deep inside, they must have felt the same as he did—it was all his fault.

Yu had fallen asleep. He was on duty, and he had fallen asleep. He had been given a responsibility and he had shirked it. He hadn’t meant to, but there were consequences for his actions, regardless of intent.

It’s all your fault.

Yu was once more in that dark hallway. He was jolted awake by the tolling of a bell, and the cries of guardsmen and samurai as they swarmed through the palace. He could hear screaming, somewhere down the hallway, and the heavy thud of footsteps and the clank of armour.

Something was wrong, very wrong.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and ran towards the sound of the commotion. The scene Yu found horrified him.

Lord Mitsutaka’s son, the Shogun Mitsutada’s grandson, lay wounded, clutching his face/ Blood poured from between his fingers. It stained the front of his robes and his bedding. A figure dressed all in black, with a white hannya mask lay dead. His blade lay inches from his open hand. He had been cut open by a skilled swordsman.

Yu couldn’t remember who exactly had stood there, having just cut down the shinobi seeking to murder the young heir, but whoever it was had been from the Ii Clan, one of the four great houses.

The samurai immediately demanded to know why no one was on guard near the young lord’s room, and why no one had noticed the shinobi sneaking about.

Yu couldn’t answer, the words caught in his throat.

It’s all your fault.

The Ii retainer was bent over the young lord, trying to tend to his wounds. Young Takahiko would not see from that eye again.

By now half the castle was awake. Turmoil engulfed every floor as samurai scoured every last corner in case more shinobi were lying in wait.

Yu turned to see his sister2-1 enter the room; her hair tied back, her sword drawn. She would take no risks when shinobi were about.

Kaede looked at Yu, looked at the Ii retainer and the young lord, and knew immediately what had happened. She pressed a finger to her lips and warned Yu not to speak.

The Ii retainer sent her to find a doctor to attend to the young lord.

Kaede dragged Yu along with her, taking him by the arm.“Don’t say anything. Not a word. I’ll take care of it.”

Yu fumbled for words. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean to. I don’t—I fell asleep, but I didn’t know—I wasn’t trying to… I didn’t mean to!” He was on the verge of tears as the weight of his failure began to weigh upon him.

Kaede hugged her younger brother and gave him a reassuring smile. “As your older sister, it’s my job to keep you safe. But I need you to keep silent and trust me, okay?”

Yu nodded.

It’s all your fault.

After the young lord Takahiko had been tended to by a doctor, and his life was assured, the reigning Shogun, Lord Mistutada, summoned all his retainers who had been on duty in the palace that evening.

He was angry, and the lord was known for being unpleasant when he was angry. Shogun Mitsutada was a contentious man. He was short, with a shorter temper. He had instigated many wars due to perceived slights he had claimed the Imperial court in Kin’kyo had committed against his person. Whether they had truly insulted the Shogun mattered not, the point was that the Shogun felt slighted, and the only proper recompense was conquest.

Mitsutada had reigned for a long time. He had ruled since his in his sixteenth year, shortly after another outbreak of blackrot had killed his father and three elder brothers. That had been nearly fifty years ago now, and in that time he had done much to elevate the Shogunate and increase its borders beyond the previous boundaries. But as of late his eyes were failing him, as was the rest of his body. The powerful, infallible general was no more, replaced by a temperamental, often senile old man.

The last time the Shogunate had gone to war had been a little over two decades prior, during the last war with the Empire. But that war had been cut short by an outbreak of black rot in the Imperial capital that wiped out a majority of the high-ranking members of the Imperial government. Among the list of casualties had been the reigning emperor, two retired emperors, a cloistered empress, the Crown Princess, and the regent—to name but a few. The Empire had been forced to sue for peace.

Everyone assumed that the Empire and the Shogunate would use that opportunity to lick their wounds, reinforce their positions, and the war would pick-up again once everything had settled down in the Old Capital.

And then the Daimyo Tomuro Nobuyuki raised rebellion against the Old Shogun in Ugo.

They claimed their reason for rebellion had been the Old Shogun’s appointment of his second son, Mitsutaka, as heir. The move had been done quickly, without the prior knowledge of the bakufu or any leading figures of the government, just before the war had started. Lord Tomuro believed that the Shogun’s eldest son, Mitsunobu, would have made a better heir to the Saruyama Shogunate, and they made their point clear with rebellion.

The rebellion had been put down quickly. Before it even truly began, some said. The Old Shogun and his loyal daimyo marched on Ugo where the rebel forces had holed up, and torched most of the province, killing innocent civilians, and pillaging wherever they could. The rebel forces under Lord Tomuro were forced to meet the Old Shogun on the field of battle to avoid his own people from suffering further, and this had been his undoing. Tomuro was a passionate and cunning man, but his skill as a military commander were lacking, and those he drew to his side had been more interested in gaining the favour of a future Shogun than warfare.

The battle was over in two hours, and very few rebels survived. Their families would later follow them in death or be sold off into indentured servitude in Ise or distant parts of the Shogunate.

As for the Tomuro Clan, they had had been disposed as lords of Ugo province. The Old shogun had their men executed, their women and female children sent to far off temples to become nuns, while the male children were executed along with their fathers.

But rather than force Nobuyuki and his sons commit seppuku or having them executed for their rebellion, the Old Shogun chose a more gruesome fate for them. He had them set adrift in the northern seas, in a boat with only a sail and a broken rudder. They were given three jugs of water, a week’s worth of rations, and a single tanto, should they wish to put themselves out of their misery. They would die at sea, or by their own hand, but they would never return to Yamato, or they would face a far more gruesome fate.

The sick “mercy” bestowed upon the Tomuro Clan was not granted to Shogun Mitsutada’s eldest son, Mitsunobu, however. He had been dragged from his estate and brought before the Shogun, then forced to commit seppuku for crimes he was not guilty of.

Mitsunobu had not encouraged the rebellion, nor had he participated in it. In fact, Mitsunobu had fought and led armies in the name of his father against the rebels who sought to install him as heir. But the Old Shogun, in one of his moods, would not risk his eldest son’s mere existence disrupting the internal peace of the Shogunate. Erratic decisions, ever changing mood swings, and a quick temper had earned Old Shogun Mitsutada the moniker “Shogun of the Northern Wind.”2-2

After the rebellion, the Shogun’s health had slowly begun to decline after surviving a bout of blood fever, and his surviving son, Mitsutaka, was increasingly forced to stepped in and act as regent in his stead—though the bakufu still owed obeisance to the Old Shogun above all others, and if he willed something, it would be done.

And tonight, the Old Shogun Mitsutada would have the final say. The life of his grandson, the heir of his heir, had nearly been snuffed out like a candle, and someone was going to be held responsible for their failure.

Lord Mitsutada’s voice, though raspy and tired, still boomed across the hall where he received eighty of his retainers. “I will ask only once: who is responsible? Come forward, and accept responsibility with honour, or I shall punish you all severely.” He scanned the room with his yellowed eyes. His hands, wrinkled and beset with liver spots, shook violently as he stroked his close-cropped moustache.

Yu looked at his sister, expecting her to be as nervous as he was. But to his surprise, her face was the picture of resolution; serene, but determined. It set Yu at ease.

He could barely believe what happened next.

Kaede stood, walked to the front of the rows of kneeling samurai and onna-musha, and knelt before her lord. Her forehead touched the floor, and she remained there as she spoke. “It was I, Your Eminence. I was on guard in the hallway, and I fell asleep. My careless has nearly doomed the young lord.”

Lord Mitsutaka stood behind the Old Shogun. Beside him stood another, older samurai, Lord Musashi, the Shogun’s official sword master, sword tester, and executioner. He was responsible for training the Shogun and his family in swordsmanship, as well as select retainers from the Four Great Houses2-3, and as the Shogun’s brother-in-law, he had long been tairo, the leader of the the five roju2-4, and was a close confidant to both Shogun Mitsutada and his heir Mitsutaka.

Lord Musashi and Lord Mitsutaka exchanged a look, though it was Lord Musashi who spoke first.

The old samurai’s voice was calm, kind even. He spoke in a matter-of-fact tone, in a tone as gentle as a flower petal. “If I recall, your designation post was a general patrol of the entire castle. Your brother was posted eastern hall of that floor.”

“I noticed he was growing tired, so I switched postings with him. I thought the walk might do him some good. I acknowledge that it was done without official approval. In the end, I was correct, but how sad that I was the one who fell asleep instead.” Kaede’s response was an outright lie, but it burst forth unwavering that few doubted their veracity.

Lord Musashi’s face remained unchanged. Yu couldn’t tell if he had believed the lie or not. Few could lie to Lord Musashi successfully.

Lord Mitsutada scowled. “Your irresponsible actions have cost my grandson dearly. You have failed my family…I expected better of an onna-musha of the Sakai Clan.”

Kaede’s forehead had not once left the tatami floor. “I humbly beg your forgiveness, and fully accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate.”

Yu wanted to stand and cry out. He wanted to admit the truth to all present It would be over quickly if he spoke up, but he was afraid…he was afraid and he didn’t want to disappoint his sister. She told him to remain quiet. Yu knew his sister’s punishment would be severe, and in truth he feared that it would fall to him…but he could never have imagined how severe.

It’s all your fault.

Kaede’s punishment was handed down three days later.

Lord Musashi paid the family a visit at their estate. He was received warmly, though his face was as grim as the news he brought. It had been even worse than anyone could have imagined. Kaede would pay with her life. She would be forced to commit seppuku.

Lord Musashi had volunteered to be her second; to remove her head after she had cut her belly. He had wanted to save Munetada, head of the Sakai Clan, and father to Yu and Kaede, the unenviable experience of having to act as a second to their own child.

“How can this be?” demanded Aya. As wife of the Sakai clan head, and mother of Kaede and Yu, she had been permitted to sit in on the meeting between her husband and Lord Musashi.

Yu and Kaede sat silently behind the sliding door, on the veranda that faced the garden. They used the pouring rain that assaulted the grounds to mask their approach and avoid detection.

Munetada was less surprised. He had suspected as much would come to pass when he had been forbidden from sitting in upon the deliberations between the roju and the Shogun, despite counting among their number. His face did not betray the turmoil inside. Ever the stoic, he took the news as gracefully as one would who had just been informed that he’d just been invited to a viewing party.

Lord Musashi looked at Munetada and bowed low. “Lord Munetada, I owe you my humblest apologies for the decision. Lord Mitsutaka and I had deliberated with Lady Naotora and Lord Yoshizane and we agreed that seppuku would be off the table for punishment, and we would make our stance known to the Shogun, should he suggest it.”

There was a pause.

“But Shogun Mitsutada would not hear our counsel or guidance. He decreed that blood shall be the only recompense for what the young lord has suffered. His mind was made before the meeting, and nothing we said would sway his decision. Not for lack of trying. Lord Mitsutaka swore he would throw himself upon his own blade in atonement for his father’s cruelty towards young Kaede. He swore if Shogun Mitsutada was so determined to divest himself of a loyal retainer over an honest mistake, he would also have to divest himself of his heir.”

Munetada seemed to struggle to hide a smirk. “I wondered why he was not here delivering the news himself.”

“Indeed. For his outburst, the Shogun Mitsutada has seen that his heir be placed under constant guard in his quarters on the castle grounds. Effectively, he is a prisoner.” Lord Musashi explained. “Until the sentence is carried out, at least.”

Lord Munetada watched the steam rise and curl as it drifted from his teacup, slowly diminishing the longer the tea sat untouched. “When will it happen?”

“Three days hence,” Lord Musashi replied.

“Will he accept a stand in?”

Aya’s face paled.

Lord Musashi shook his head. “The Shogun was clear that none, but the real culprit could face the punishment. There will be no stand-ins, no heroic sacrifice. Only the consequences of Kaede’s actions coming to bear. He knew you would offer.”

Kaede looked at Yu, her face ever brave. Indeed, she was still smiling sweetly as she did the night when the whole ordeal began. “Trust me, Yu.”

Yu hadn’t even noticed when he started crying, but he could feel the tears rolling down his cheek and guilt curling in his gut. He wanted to throw up, and he could feel himself start to hyperventilate.

Kaede reached forward and drew Yu into a gentle, loving hug. “You are my brother, Yu. As your elder sister, it is my duty to protect you. I was willing to take the blame and bear the punishment, regardless of the cost. This changes nothing. Better I than you, Little Sparrow.” She pressed his face into her flowing robes, to smother the sounds of his sobs.

Lord Musashi left shortly after the news was delivered. He did not linger. He knew now more than ever, the family needed time together, and he would not intrude upon that.

It’s all your fault.

The seppuku was set to take place inside the sannomaru[1]. It was a relatively private affair, though it did not stop gossip from getting out. Those permitted to be present were Yu, his parents, several members of his extended family in the Sakai Clan, the Shogun himself, and the remaining three of the four roju.

They sat with the Shogun, overlooking the ritual from a raised platform, while Yu’s father remained next to him and his mother. On another raised platform, set atop the first, sat the Old Shogun himself, one foot higher than everyone else. He wore his finest robes for this occaision, like a hero of old coming before the Emperor at court.

The fourth member of the roju, Sakai Munetada, Yu’s father, knelt beside Yu and his mother, on the left side of the square that had been set up for the event. In the centre of this area were several tatami mats, and two simple folding screens that were arranged to form an L-shaped barricade around them. That was where the ritual would take place, and the screens had been set up to block the view of the seppuku from all but the Shogun, the roju, and the disgraced one’s family.

Lord Musashi was already in place, waiting solemnly for Kaede to arrive. Like all in attendance, he wore subdued colours. Regardless of his high rank, he wore a simple charcoal kimono, black hakama trousers, and a black kataginu[2]. No crests or designs adorned the clothing. The stiff, pointed shoulders of the kataginu were not as ostentatious as someone would expect of a man for Lord Musashi’s rank. Yet for as immaculate and simple as his robes were, Lord Musashi’s long wild hair, streaked with grey, was tied back in a messy ponytail. His beard was not trimmed short, but the kind you’d expect of a man living in the woods, or who had been on campaign for extended periods. Everything about Lord Musashi was a paradox.

Despite his now elevated position, Lord Musashi had been born a commoner in Ise. The son of a farmer, grandson of an obscure swordsman with an odd but effective sword style, he had earned his place by catching the eye of the previous shogun Koremitsu.

The stories told by the young bushi claimed that a young Musashi had attacked Shogun Koremitsu. The boy had sought revenge for the destruction of his village and the death of his family during another one of the wars between the Empire and the Shogunate. He was only in his fourteenth year, yet he mustered the courage to attack the shogun while he and his soldiers marched through the remains of his town towards the next battlefield. After he revealed himself, Musashi made a beeline for the shogun, wounded three of his retainers, and killed another. Eventually, several men were able to restrain the young attacker. Upon doing so, they found he had been armed with nothing but a dulled, broken sword and a wooden stick.

Shogun Koremitsu had been so impressed by the boy’s prowess and blind bravery that he adopted him on the spot and raised him as his own. The Shogun was said to have remarked that “though the boy was not born a samurai, he has the courage of ten. He’s got more bravery in him than any of the men currently in my service.” His sudden change in fortune and the cutting remarks of the shogun did not make Lord Musashi any friends amongst his new comrades and retainers, but through hard work and raw skill, he was able to earn the respect and admiration of even the most stubborn of his foes. He had grown up, married the Old Shogun’s sister, and was one of the highest-ranking members of the bakufu.

And yet he stood there that day, not as tairo, but as the second to a young warrior whose entire life should have been before her.

Kaede entered from the far side of the yard. She bore a sombre look upon her face. She dressed in white funeral robes, with her hair tied up above her head. The young warrior cut a stark figure amidst the black robed spectators.

Yu couldn’t meet his sister’s eyes, though she tried.

“Don’t look away, Tadayuki,” his father whispered to him.

Yu wanted to throw up.

Kaede entered the partially screened off area and faced Shogun Mitsutada. She knelt, and bowed low, touching her forehead to the tatami mats. She said nothing, but as she came up from the bow, Kaede and the Shogun locked eyes. Even

Yu could see the cold, indifferent look in the old man’s eyes. He felt a chill pass over the entire compound, as if the dead of winter had just set in. Yu was certain the Old Shogun’s stare could wither flowers and form a layer of ice on any garden pond.

Lord Musashi and Kaede exchanged a glance.

The latter’s look was one of pain and regret. He and Kaede had always been close, as master and student, and he had always seen great promise in the young onna-musha. It would now be wasted due to the grudge of a withered old man—even if that man was his brother.

Lord Musashi slid his kataginu off his shoulders, and then pulled his arms from the sleeves of his outer and inner kimono. His bare chest was covered in a myriad of scars, some old, some more recent, some barely visible beneath.

Kaede nodded and brought the small serving tray from her side before her. On it was a folded piece of pressed paper, a pre-prepared inkstone, a brush, and a small, unadorned tanto with the blade partially wrapped in a white cloth.

First, Kaede set aside the knife, then took up the brush, and soaked up some ink from the inkstone. Quietly, with nothing but the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, she wrote down her final words—a death poem. Kaede composed a katauta2-5 making quick work of the poem. She placed the poem on the tray, folded so no others could see, and then prepared for the final act.

Now it was Kaede’s turn to slip her arms from the sleeves of her robes, which left her upper body bare, save for the cloth wrappings around her chest. She grasped the knife by the partially covered blade in her left hand and took the serving tray and placed it behind her with her right. Kaede took the blade in both hands, one hand on the handle, and the other on the wrapped part of the blade. She aimed the tip of the blade at her gut.

Her breath quickened, and her fingers felt numb. There could be no hesitation now, she would not die showing even a shred of weakness. Kaede refused to be known as anything but a consummate warrior, who faced her end with honour and bravery.

“No matter what, don’t look away.” Munetada’s voice cut through the fugue state Yu found himself in.

Kaede plunged the blade in to her gut. Air escape from her lungs. The steel was cold against her muscle and sinew, but it quickly warmed as blood flowed from the wound. Pain made her eyes water, but she blinked the tears away. Her head grew foggy, her movements slowed, and she felt groggy, like she’d been drinking too much.

Kaede knew if she stopped now, the pain would only worsen as the feeling sunk in. She mustered all her remaining strength, and dragged the blade across her belly, spraying blood across the tatami. When the blade had finally stopped moving, she leaned her head forward and exposed her neck for her kaishakunin.

Lord Musashi, perhaps the most skilled swordsman in the Shogunate, was precise and fast. Anyone watching could barely see the blade move. Kaede barely felt the blade bite through her flesh, and her head was off before she even felt the air displaced by the swing. For anyone watching, they saw Lord Musashi draw his blade, and raise it high, and they saw him sheath his sword again, but every movement in between was but a blur.

But the result, was clear for everyone to see. Kaede’s head lay on the mats, her body slumped over, and blood now splattered across the screens and tatami mats, and pooling from her open wounds.

Yu could hear his mother stifling her sobs, and though his father maintained his ever-stoic composure, the sadness in his eyes was clear.

Meanwhile, Yu was too stunned to process what he had witnessed, or full comprehend that his sister was truly dead. He sat there numb. He had done as his father commanded; he had not looked away. For his bravery, he was rewarded with an image that would forever be burned in his mind, and a guilt forever engraved upon his soul.

Yu stared despondent at his sister’s head. It took a moment for the head to comprehend that it had been severed from the body. The eyes fluttered about in their sockets for a few seconds more, the face contorted, then relaxed. For the first time since Kaede had entered the compound, and for the last time ever, the siblings locked eyes. Yu’s own dead stare matching his sister’s.

Then the corners of Kaede’s mouth twitched, and Yu could have sworn he saw her smile at him, one last time.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

The disembodied head of his sister rose, it’s face contorted into a wicked grin.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, YU!

The sky darkened, and a storm rolled in. The wind picked up. A fog enveloped the compound.

Lord Musashi turned to Yu, his face one of bitter disappointment.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

Tears ran down Yu’s face, he tried to speak, to say anything, but no words would come out. He could only cry. He could only wallow in his own misery.

Yu looked to his parents, seeking comfort, but instead of the loving parents he had always known, Yu was greeted by the faces of two stern and wicked creatures, with red skin, and flaming eyes, and long writhing tongues. They were his parents only in the faintest resemblance.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. SHE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU.

Yu looked at the Old Shogun. He never expected to find kindness in the old man’s eyes, but what he saw instead was a wicked, malicious intent. Eyes as aflame of those of the creatures that had replaced his parents. The shogun opened his mouth to reveal endless rows of blood-stained, razor-sharp teeth. His long, snake-like tongue flicked about in his gaping maw.

Yu recoiled in terror.

HOW CAN YOU EVER HOPE TO SERVE THE SHOGUN?

Suddenly, from deep within the mist, Lord Mitsutaka appeared at the edge of the courtyard. He walked, slowly, calmly, with an even gait.

As he materialized from the fog, Yu could see that his head was a ruin. It looked as if he had taken the tip of his sword between his teeth and fallen upon it intentionally. Pieces of brain and skull hung from shreds of skin, like someone had smashed a boiled egg.

LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE CAUSED!

Takahiko then appeared beside his father. Horns grew from his head; flames began to envelope the compound. Yu could hear the screams and cries of thousands of innocents. A malicious grin crept across Takahiko’s face, and he raised his blade toward the sky triumphantly. His missing eye was uncovered to reveal a rotting socket, the other eye black as night, with no hint of white.

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. LAIR!

The voices chanted in unison. They came for him, swarming him like maggots swarmed a corpse. Yu could feel their hands grabbing at him, tearing at his flesh, pulling out his teeth. Handfuls of his hair was ripped out. He felt a sword plunged deep into his gut. His flesh was peeled from his bones by the hands of his father. Someone bit him.

The pain was unbearable. He screamed. He writhed. He sobbed. Yu felt every excruciating moment of pain.

The voices chanted endlessly all the while.

IT’S.

ALL.

YOUR.

FAULT!


[1] The enclosed, outermost courtyard of the castle grounds. It is sometimes called the third compound and is the first point of defence. This is where the military fortifications of Saruyama Castle begin.

[2] Common among samurai, it is a formal robe worn over the main kimono. It’s sleeveless, with pointed shoulders. Kataginu are often embroidered with the crest of the wearer’s clan.

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